MW 'She's still waiting by the phone': My grandmother gave her life savings to a man she met online. What now?

By Quentin Fottrell

'Up until the moment she was scammed, we considered her the wealthy one in our family'

Dear Quentin,

Our family discovered our grandma got involved with someone on the internet from a foreign country who convinced her he was coming to America to marry her. He instructed her to empty all of her bank accounts and stocks, and send the money to him. It totaled hundreds of thousands of dollars. When she was younger she invested in Coca-Cola $(KO)$ when it was a new stock. Up until the moment she was scammed, we considered her the wealthy one in our family.

She has one thing left, a pension, that will allow us to put her into an assisted-living home. She is agreeing to this move. Is it safe to assume that her online boyfriend can't get her pension? We are trading her phone in for a new one that will be restricted and paid for by the family. What about her landline? Does she have to personally cancel it? The police and elder-abuse officials visited her and she asked them to leave, insisting that she is getting married next month.

'She has one thing left, a pension, that will allow us to put her into an assisted-living home.'

She is still waiting by the phone. She has never met this online person. Reactions from her children are shocking and heartbreaking. They are reacting to her with compassion, but she still needs to be protected. The assisted-living facility gets paid every month. Should she have a conservator or an administrator who would be required to co-sign checks for any extra money left over in the month after the assisted living home is paid? She doesn't own any real estate.

She was widowed and has a VA pension of $5,000 per month from one of her last husbands. The assisted-living facility will cost $4,000 per month, leaving $1,000 to worry about each month. Hopefully, the facility can restrict her use of the computer and internet. Sadly, her son has just gone blind and is being forced to retire early in January. Her son doesn't own his home, and we are trying to figure out how that family is going to get by with him not working.

We all love her and want to protect her. She lives alone and didn't want to move in with any of her family members before this happened. She was asked not to live alone. It would have been helpful to have this family money. Now it's gone. Anyway, have any of your readers faced this? What steps did they take? What kind of attorney can fight a disability application that is denying payments for blindness? Has anyone ever gotten money back?

Grandchild

Related: I was invited to join a VIP investment club. It promoted bitcoin and other crypto - that's when the trouble started.

Dear Grandchild,

In all likelihood, that money is probably gone. The bank in question will say that the payments were authorized and not reimburse the money.

There have been cases recently where older people were scammed of six figures by thieves using A.I. and pretending to be famous people. Last month, a French woman said she was conned out of EUR830,000 (approximately $868,000) by someone pretending to be Brad Pitt. She received even more online abuse from people mocking her. She told reporters: "I came forward because I am not the only one." Unfortunately, some victims tell their story only to be made foolish a second time. But loneliness is an epidemic and makes people vulnerable.

While the role of power of attorney expires after your grandmother's death, estate plans often include what's called a "durable" power of attorney. This permits the trusted individual (in this case, your grandmother's trusted family member or attorney) to retain power of attorney if and/or when your father can no longer make decisions for himself. A telephone company will likely require the owner of the line or their power of attorney to cancel the account.

A conservatorship is an involuntary process and takes place when a person is unable to take care of their finances. Each state has its own rules for guardianships and conservatorships. To apply to be a conservator, you need to file a petition with the probate court in the county where your grandmother lives and detail all the responsibilities, powers and duties you intend to take on for her. You'll also need to submit a plan for her care.

People 60 and older are five times as likely as younger consumers to report losing money to tech-related scams.

A court investigator is then appointed to interview the proposed conservatee to determine if they are incapacitated and whether the appointment of a conservator is warranted, according to the Family Caregiver Alliance. "The petition is set for hearing, and the conservatee must appear in court unless medically unable to do so," the organization adds. "The judge determines, based on the petition, the investigator's report, and any evidence taken during the hearing."

Your grandmother (or her POA) should also freeze her credit with all three major credit bureaus - Experian (EXPGF), TransUnion $(TRU.UK)$ and Equifax $(EFX)$ - so no one can take out loans or open accounts in her name. People 60 and older are five times as likely as younger consumers to report losing money to tech-related scams, according to the Federal Trade Commission. Phone scams are the No. 1 scam affecting older people, followed by computer-related fraud.

The Consumer Resource Center of the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp. cautions about choosing an adviser carefully. "If you are considering hiring a new broker, attorney, accountant or other professional, even someone recommended by a friend or relative, it is best to independently look into that person's background and reputation before investing money or paying for services." Check with their local licensing board or trade association.

Freezing credit reports

Financial institutions have procedures in place for spotting the warning signs of elder abuse - but there were obvious faults in that system in your grandmother's case - and state regulators have in recent years put pressure on advisers to help prevent it. Online scams and elder abuse impact millions of Americans every year, according to the National Council on Aging, and multiple agencies say the number of cases is increasing and underreported.

It's a shocking and distressing turn of events, especially if your grandmother is still hanging onto the illusion that she will meet this person. For others who suspect an elderly relative is being scammed or on the brink of being scammed, contact the National Elder Fraud Hotline at 833-372-8311 or legal services and Adult Protective Services. Visit the Eldercare Locator or call toll-free at 1-800-677-1116. (Read more here about preventing scams.)

Her pension should be deposited into her bank account directly, so make sure all of these accounts are secure.

A trusted family member should take steps to take over with a power of attorney and/or as conservator. The National Center on Elder Abuse - a government agency affiliated with the U.S. Administration on Aging - and the nonprofit National Adult Protective Services Association will also have further steps you can take, in addition to contacting your grandmother's primary physician and making an appointment for a physical and mental assessment.

Finally, the Financial Industry Regulatory Authority has a guide on what to do if you are the victim of fraud. A recent study funded by the FINRA Foundation concluded that nearly two-thirds of fraud victims experience at least one extreme emotional response - such as stress, anxiety, insomnia and/or depression. "Your recovery is about more than lost money," it says. "It's also about protecting your future financial health and assets and finding ways for you to recover emotionally from the crime."

Her pension should be deposited into her bank account directly, so make sure all of these accounts are secure. Change all of her passwords on your grandmother's bank accounts and make sure her bank is aware of the scam, which appears to be ongoing - if even in your grandmother's mind. Add a POA as a co-authorized user on her account. A Social Security disability attorney will be able to help her navigate applications for benefits related to blindness.

This won't get the money back, but it might help guarantee a degree of comfort and peace of mind for your grandmother's remaining days.

Related: I lost $240,000 after a 'friend' I met on Instagram encouraged me to invest in crypto. Can I write off my loss?

You can email The Moneyist with any financial and ethical questions at qfottrell@marketwatch.com, and follow Quentin Fottrell on X, the platform formerly known as Twitter.

The Moneyist regrets he cannot reply to questions individually.

More columns from Quentin Fottrell:

I fell victim to an online dating scam. I'm $27,000 in debt. 'Without commenting on my obvious stupidity, how do I recover from this?'

'I want to enjoy the rest of my years': I'm 65, retired and own my home. I have $300,000 to invest. What should I do with it?

'She's the queen of CDs': My mother-in-law, 83, opened 12 CDs at different financial institutions. Should I intervene?

Check out The Moneyist's private Facebook group, where members help answer life's thorniest money issues. Post your questions, or weigh in on the latest Moneyist columns.

By emailing your questions to The Moneyist or posting your dilemmas on The Moneyist Facebook group, you agree to have them published anonymously on MarketWatch.

By submitting your story to Dow Jones & Co., the publisher of MarketWatch, you understand and agree that we may use your story, or versions of it, in all media and platforms, including via third parties.

-Quentin Fottrell

This content was created by MarketWatch, which is operated by Dow Jones & Co. MarketWatch is published independently from Dow Jones Newswires and The Wall Street Journal.

(END) Dow Jones Newswires

February 23, 2025 05:22 ET (10:22 GMT)

Copyright (c) 2025 Dow Jones & Company, Inc.